DETERMINING YOUR COMMAND:
You want to get something done, and you need another’s
help. You can request it, you can demand it, or you can sit
back and hope that it happens. The first behavior is an example
of assertion, or standing up for your own rights without violating
the rights of others. The second is aggression; you are standing
up for your rights, but violating another’s right to
voluntary action. The third choice is submission, a failure
to stand up for your own rights at all.
ASSERTIVENESS: When trying
to get something accomplished, assertive behavior is the most
effective. Although other methods may accomplish the intended
ends, the alternatives imperil our own rights or those of
others, creating conflict and building mistrust into relationships.
One of the keys to effectiveness is learning how to communicate
thoughts and feelings without jeopardizing yourself or others,
and this ability elevates both morale and productivity in
the workplace.
ASSERTIVENESS: Being
assertive is not easy. Like any other expression of emotion,
it involves risk-taking, since feelings handled inappropriately
in the workplace are a well-known source of anger or conflict.
But letting fear of conflict inhibit expression only increases
stress and anxiety. Until appropriate expression of feelings
is considered possible many people fail to learn which battles
to fight. In a conscious effort to avoid confrontation, they
give ground on issues of paramount importance or end up taking
an aggressive stand on a trivial issue.
Copyright © A.E. Schwartz &
Associates, all rights reserved. For reprint permission and
terms, contact: reprints@aeschwartz.com.
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